Rules For Your Daughter To Be The Fearless Woman You Hope You Have Raised.

If I could leave you with one thing it would be…

  1. 1) If you ever have doubt in yourself, just remember YOU ARE ENOUGH. No one can make you feel any less than without your permission. Not even yourself.

2) Don’t forget to PRAY. Have that conversation with God. He is there for you and he wants to always be there for you. Rather life is hard or not, lay what’s on your heart at his feet and pray.

3) Stay calm during job interviews. Smile, but not like an idiot. Wear something comfortable, but professional. DON’T CHEW GUM. Be lighthearted, easy for them to talk to, and don’t forget to breathe. Employers can see right through you!

  1. 4) When you find yourself lost in this world or in its web, you can ALWAYS COME HOME. There are times in your life you will feel lost or maybe ashamed of where you are at in life. I promise you that nothing can prevent you from coming back home.

5) NO ONE CAN PROMISE YOU THE WORLD. Only you can achieve that and hope to God you find someone along the way to be by your side.

6) LIFE IS HARD, but you can’t give up. Keep on keeping on! My granddaddy once said, “The best things in life are the hardest to get. If it comes easy, you better run the other way.”

7) If you find a shirt you like, BUY EVERY COLOR! The older you get, it gets a little harder to either find your size or shape in a shirt. Grab them all!

8) You will make friends throughout your life, but the older you get you will only have a few true friends that stuck it out with you. DON’T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THOSE FRIENDSHIPS. Those are the friends that will be with you ’til the end.

7) DONT FORGET TO CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER. You are lucky to have a grandma that loves you and a relationship with her. Yes, she is aggravating. Yes, she has her ways. But she loves you. So for the sake of us both, don’t forget to call her!

8) This one is important. STAY ACTIVE in some shape or form. Rather it’s at the gym, running or hiking on trails, or if you are still doing Maui Tai. If you stay active, your body will be healthy, therefore your mind will stay strong. It will help you stay stress-free and less depress when things are not going your way.

9) The older you get, you’ll see different versions of yourself. Not only in personality, but also in style and way of thinking. Nothing wrong with that! Let your limbs grow wherever they need be, but KEEP YOUR ROOTS FIRM in the ground. Don’t lose the essence of you.

10) GO ON DATES! Have fun. Be youthful. It doesn’t have to be all about sexual things. Go to the beach, go exploring, play pool, go to a football game even if you don’t like it, try sushi. Just enjoy being young and enjoy life in every aspect.

11) I believe it’s important to experience different cultures and places so you can appreciate what you have. Learn different languages, try different foods, take lots of pictures, and embrace your surroundings. So, TRAVEL AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

12) If and when life hits you hard, it’s ok to stay inside and cry. You don’t even have to change clothes or take a shower. Find a movie, have junk food, put your phone on silent, and just be. CRY YOUR HEART OUT my angel, but call your mom first!

13) After you cry and get some of it out, PULL YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES UP and get moving. Not saying you still can’t mope, but you don’t want to get stuck there. Hard to pull yourself out of it when you’re stuck.

14) Spend the money on a really good beautician and esthetician. It’s worth it. Consider it like going on a mini-vacation. You sit there and enjoy being pampered. And yes, those eyebrows need it. And yes, those curls will be difficult at times. INVEST IN YOURSELF!

15) GET A PET. Your dog now won’t be around forever and when he’s not I know your heart is going to break. Having a pet teaches your not only responsibilities but unconditional love. It will soften you and bring joy to your life. You will always have a friend and never be alone.

16) Never, ever forget who you are. YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER. You are strong, smart, funny, witty, loved, and unbreakable. You can have cracks, but you won’t break.

What rules would you leave for your daughter or son?

When the South Came to the North and Neither of Them Smiled: a mamas advice

” Well darling, just smile. You look unpleasant when you don’t.”

“Really mama? Thanks.”

“Yep! No problem.”

Mama

My mama.

That woman can give some of the most simple yet effective advice in a ‘not a care in a world’ kind of way. She truly is a Southern woman through and through and quite honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. So when I came to her to vent about me living in Upstate New York now I “ought to of known better” as she would say.

I understand that NO ONE was prepared for 2020. I mean 2020 was not prepared for 2020. But to move to Upstate New York two and half weeks prior to ‘the world ending’ now that was bad timing.

I closed the gap in a long distance relationship, packed, and moved to Syracuse, NY from Southern Pines, NC February of this year. I jokingly say that I fell for the biggest scam of it all; I fell for love. It got me! I uprooted my 13 yr old daughter and my 2 yr old dog and we went for it!!

Moving from a world you have always known is not easy within itself, despite Covid-19 going on. We were ready and prepared months in advice for the move between flying back and forth to us (my daughter and I) having in-depth conversations and weighing our options. I was ready financially, mentally, and all in between that you possibly could be.

The one thing that I did not take into consideration was… the culture.

That took me completely off guard. I came to realize that Southern hospitality truly is an essential part of the Southern culture. Duh, I know. But I did not consider that because it was always there. It is how people live, how they interact with one anther, who they are. It is who I am as a person, a woman, as a mama myself.

Now I do have to say that most people I have met so far have been really nice and thoughtful. If I had to use a word to describe the people up here, it would be…

guarded.

Back home everyone is automictically considered family. We accept you with open arms and our trust is given right off the back…until it is not than ‘God bless you’ and you are on your way.

I noticed with the people up here, they are a little more suspicious of you and a bit guarded until they get a feel for you. They’ll invite you in their circle, but they keep their eye on you. Distrust off the bat until they like you. All of this was new and to be honest it still is after 10 months of living here.

“Well darling, just smile. You look unpleasant when you don’t.”

That was it. That was the word of advice my mama had when I called. Even after I hung up the phone I kept shaking my head. Out of all the advice she could have given, that was it? Just smile? Of course I dismissed it and went on with my week.

I’ve been working on the front yard updating the plants and flowers. I didn’t see the man walking by at first. He always walks by our home on his daily walks. Sometimes I see him and sometimes I don’t. There have been times when I have seen him, I just ignore him and kept on working. In my mind I got things to do, but that day as he was passing by me he caught my eye.

That day I looked up, said hey, and then I smiled. That smiled has turned into me meeting a man who knows way too much about plants and flowers. It’s crazy his knowledge and I love it! He has been so helpful and intriguing to talk to… and I am so thankful that I smiled!

Thanks mama. That’s what I get for doubting you. ❤